Sacred Contemporary Art Blog by "Shey"

Another day, another warrior goddess, we are everywhere. I am again at Goldenstein Gallery a vortex of incredible magic.  In walks Estela, a beautiful woman from Argentina. Estela has come to enjoy some art or possibly she has she come so that our lives could touch.  Both inevitable, we connect over my art, over her love of the butterfly and her respect for the Buddha.  We share stories.  She is the founder of the Windrise Retreat Center outside of Grosse Point, Michigan. She is an artist and a woman of wisdom. The mother of five, she is here with her husband, she is clearly loved. A woman in her strength, she shares with me some of her convictions as the matriarch of her family. I am inspired by her presence. After admiring some of my favorite pieces, she adds one to her collection. Thank you Estela.

We talk of spiritual matters, delicious, art and spirituality, another day alive in my passions. We talked of names. She had been gifted with the spiritual name Kali, a wrathful goddess, an Enlightened display.  How to understand the blessing in this name of feminine spiritual power? Spiritual names, although they may be taken lightly, are not given lightly. There is power in a name.  On the spiritual journey, one seeks to live into one’s name.  The name holds an energy that one aspires to embody. I wear mine as the badge of a warrior, ever reminded to live into it’s gifts.  I like the story of my name.  I will tell it one day.

Kali, the red dakini dances a fierce dance. Surrounded by flames, her fiery presence is most often misunderstood.  She is part of a sisterhood of fiery red goddesses found in both the Hindu and Buddhist traditions. The image shown here is Vajravarahi, sister to Kali. “Vajravarahi: Dance of the Red Dakini” is the last painting I painted as a Buddhist nun. Like Kali, she is a pure display of compassion, a fierce and passionate presence. Make no mistake, these dancing red goddesses are compassionate regard in action in its purest form.  With the wisdom of the awakened, she appears in ecstatic dance. Boundless energy generated for the sake of all beings.  Fangs bared, drigu (curved knife) held high, she will nash, she will slash whatever binds you to your suffering. She will burn it, cut it, rip it, tear it, like a mother protecting her children she dances tirelessly for the sake of us all.   She is a dakini, an embodiment of one of the many facets of Compassionate Wisdom energy alive in the world.

Instructed in my first formal consultation with my Guru that I should study the nature of the dakini, over the last 20 years I have not wavered in that pursuit yet my understanding continues to seek depth. The dakini, the skydancer, female wisdom display of the Buddha’s activity in the world, peaceful or wrathful, she is also known as khandro.  I study and observe as I seek to live into a deeper understanding of dakini, of life, my name, my role as warrior.

This original painting is available. I am sure bound for the home of a very particular collector. She is a big energy to have alive in your space.  She will need room to breath and the respect of someone who understands at least on the outer level what blessings she brings.  Understanding on the inner and secret levels is possible with great practice but not available to all.  I make claim to only the very rudiments of understanding with regards to this profound display. Open, I allow the layers of meaning to continue to reveal themselves.

Thank you Estela for the gift of your story, for the gift you are to the world. Thank you for your courage and your strength.  Namaste my new friend, Namaste.

"Vajravarahi: Dance of the Red Dakini"

At 5’ 11” my stride averages about 20-24 inches, a bit of a sway in my hips. At times I may even lope a bit with my long, lanky legs. Of course, if I am wearing heels, particularly a skirt, my gait is bit more demur, more feminine, smaller steps. When I am out for a walk up and down the hills of my neighborhood I am more athletic, covering more ground with long purposeful strides.

Today I take very small, very slow, very careful steps, not much swaying and definitely no loping. The sciatic nerve in my right leg is pinched.  Some of you know what that means.

Two weeks ago muscles in my right hip/leg were in spasm. My movements limited considerably. Several days later the area was so inflamed I couldn’t tell what was going on. The miraculous maze of muscles and tendons and nerves that typically function beautifully as I move through space, alive, engaged in my world was seriously malfunctioning! I subsequently spent two full days in a complete stupor, pain medication, muscle relaxants, ice, heat, rest. This was followed by: five days of limited mobility, a mild haze of prescription drugs and sudden electric bursts that let me know my movements were inappropriate for my current condition.  This experience has now settled into “sciatica” a pinching of the nerve by inflammation of tissue or joint in the hip or back area.   My range of motion limited to small steps, I am also unable to sit at a 90 ish degree angle and move my right leg from side to side, a motion required to move the foot from the gas to the brake and back again.  I have been unable to drive.

At first blush this appears to be an unfortunate circumstance. I am suffering, in a sense, the pain, the lack of mobility, the inability to meet all of my scheduled appointments. I entertain the idea of wishing things were different. Alas, they are not. If I persist in this wish that things be different I will just suffer more.  In the Buddhist philosophy this is called the suffering of suffering.  We suffer from the ripening of a particular circumstance in our lives, for example an inflamed whatever pressing on the sciatic nerve sending sudden electric shocks down your leg, we are disappointed, we want it to be different, we may even project all kinds of tragic possibilities, a bit of poor me.  We think it shouldn’t be this way. We suffer more. 

I invite a different perspective. I mine for the gifts; they are there, they are always there. I have lived long enough to know that things are not always as they appear and as an ordinary mortal, I cannot possibly understand the full impact of anything in a given moment.  This may turn out to be the biggest blessing of my life, who can really say? I am doing different things from what I planned or expected, I am spending time with different people, they are touching my life and I theirs. I am engaging my life differently. I am taking smaller steps. I could complain, suffer a bit more, I choose to be alive in discovery. 

One thing I have discovered is what amazing friends I have. Over the course of the past two weeks you have checked in on me, brought me food and medicine, taken me shopping, taken me to the doctor, arranged for massage, for fresh air, even built a bookcase for me. You have kindly and generously made sure my needs were met on many levels, each of you patient with me as I yelped and grimaced my way through very basic movements.  I am experiencing the beauty of loving kindness and compassion displayed all around me. I have said many times that my goal in life is to learn to love well.  I am learning what that looks like from you.

As for the leg, it improves everyday.  All the support I need to heal is available to me.  I am loved and I am open to the gift that is life.  Thank you for being a part of mine.